On the morning of November 28th 2011, all the good little boys and good little girls walking through the front foyer of CPH were greeted by a massive Christmas Tree. Held up by a wood base and supported by bungee cords, the tree was so tall, that it even went through the ceiling tiles.
At the base of the tree sat a sign that read “Have you been a good boy or girl? Take a gift!”
One eyewitness said: “Upon opening one of the smaller boxes, I discovered that it was some sort of sleeve for a penis, that had tentacles etc on it. (I am 100% Serious, I think the box was in Chinese)”
Unfortunately, members of Plant Ops were not filled with the holiday spirit and decided that the tree must come down. Using a gas-powered chainsaw indoors, they hacked away at the tree and eventually felled it.
Complete with sand toys, beach balls, inflatable rafts,and even a palm tree, the stunt lifted the spirits of the students who happened across it.
This is not the first time that NEAC has chosen POETS as a target. Previously they have covered every surface with turf (twice!), and wrapped the entire bar in tinfoil. With so many successful attempts, we have to wonder how they continue to get in. :P
On the morning of Friday October 9th, 2009, engineering students arrived in POETS to discover that something major had changed. No- it wasn’t the new furniture or the addition of the pool table upstairs. Instead, they found that POETS had become the newest green space on campus. The entirity of POETS, from the floors and tables, to stairs and railings were covered in fresh sod, and had such ornaments as lawn gnomes and watering cans scattered around. Students were initially confused when they saw the prank, but then because overjoyed. Picnics were held during the lunch hour, helping to increase the capacity during the typically busy hour. The prank was committed sometime during the overnight hour. How exactly the pranksters accessed POETS is unknown at this time. It is unknown at press time who committed this hilarious act, however a group called NEAC (Non-Existent Action Committee) is currently believed to be behind it. However, since they don’t exist, as their name suggest, they couldn’t have possibly done it.
The statue by the Douglas Wright Engineering building was painted again, this time with the colour of EdCom, black. Many remember when, in the fall of 2006, the statue was painted orange with black stripes and the words “Engineers are GRRREAAT”.
The back of the statue had the initials “NEAC” on it, suggesting that the Non-Existent Action Committee had executed the prank. An IQC professor was asked how the group could have undertaken the task if it did not exist. They are currently requesting a government grant for several million dollars to find the answer.
A satirical tombstone placed in the Peter Russell Rock Garden. It was placed there by UW’s prank group, the Non-Existent Action Committee. It remained as part of the garden from at least 2009 until Fall 2011, when it was removed by persons unknown. (Possibly as a result of the construction of the Quantum Nano Centre.)
Update: We have confirmation from an eyewitness that saw Plant Ops remove it while they were doing their periodic maintenance of the garden.
As a result, on October 26th, the Non-Existent Action Committee (NEAC), one of UW’s prank groups, planted a cluster of 5 trees in the middle of the green in an act of guerrilla gardening. They also erected a sign with the words “NEAC. Got Wood?”
Here is the article that appeared in the Iron Warrior after the prank:
Pranksters Bluntly Ask the Right Questions
The nanotechnology building might have to be a bit smaller than planned. The latest gardening project of a few mischievous engineering students is set to compete for space with the new centre.
As if to protest the vanishing green space on campus, the group gave a final send-off to the field by planting a few saplings and other flora in its centre. It is unclear whether or not this qualifies as “artistic expression”: these were engineering students after all. Whatever the case, their timing was impeccable; the prank was performed in time for a farewell party for the field organized by the Science Society.
Early Friday morning, The Iron Warrior received an anonymous tip urging it to dispatch reporters:
From: Your Worst Nightmare Subject: Faraz: You did not get this email Time: Oct 26, 2007 4:14 AM We are making you aware of a present we have left on the B2 Green earlier tonight. Nano may have a building, but we have a forest. Bring a camera. You may want to go immediately.
The pranksters identified themselves as the Non-Existent Action Committee (NEAC). NEAC has long been a tradition among the engineering students, who have used its banner to ensure their pranks are attributed to engineering students. The NEAC markings were also seen earlier this year, when the orange art piece by the Douglas Wright Engineering building was painted over in the dark tones of EdCom. The field is here to stay for the time being. Actual groundbreaking will happen in March of 2008, when it will be replaced by a 10 metre hole in the ground. However, preparations for construction have already begun. The Bombshelter patio will be dug up to extend service tunnels from the Student Life Centre. Aside from the tunnel extension, other preparatory work will include rerouting underground pipes and taking soil samples. Editor’s Note: The plants have been pulled out of the ground by the time of issue production.
The mascot of the Mathematics Society is The Natural Log. It is a 2.5 foot long (roughly) section of wooden log, with the word ‘MATHSOC’ burnt into it.
The Natural Log was originally created in late November 1980. Earlier that month, as part of Engineering Week, the engineers had paraded their Ridgid Tool around campus. Presumably this caused some mathies to discuss the possibility of MathSoc getting its own “mathscot” that could be paraded around. Apparently Prabhakar Ragde heard them and jokingly suggested a “natural log”. The mathies took him seriously and procured the log from an unknown source.
On December 1st, 1980, The Natural Log was formally unveiled to the public for the first time. The Mathies chained the log to a table (the Log Table, just a standard table that was soon forgotten) and paraded their new mascot around campus.
The First Theft
As the math students paraded the log near Engineering 1 (now Douglas Wright Engineering), they were attacked by a large group of engineers. A small brawl ensued. Paint, snowballs, and fists were thrown. The chains holding the log to the table were cut using bolt cutters, and the log was stolen. One student went to the hospital for x-rays.
We are uncertain what happened to the log during this time. Presumably, the log was returned within a few weeks. At any rate, The Natural Log was back in the hands of MathSoc by the year 2005.
The 2005 Theft
In 2005, the engineers once again stole The Natural Log. This time, the log was defaced using permanent markers and spray paint. After some time, MathSoc negotiated for the return of the log.
It then sat in a corner of the MathSoc Office, neglected and graffitied, for several years.
In 2010, a mathematics student named John Stevenson noticed the log and realised that he had the skills required to clean and restore The Natural Log. Taking it home, he carefully removed the graffiti, and added a layer of shellac to the log. Returning it to MathSoc, the log was given a new home on display in the 3rd floor landing of the Mathematics and Computer building. MathNEWS had a field day and created a whole new mythos surrounding the log’s creation.
The 2010 Theft
In late November 2010, The Natural Log was stolen once again, this time by NEAC. As always, the details are sketchy, but NEAC claims that it gave the log “as a Christmas gift” to the environment society. There was a ransom demand made of $500 dollars (later reduced to $400) for the log, but when MathSoc arrived with a [voided] cheque, the captors failed to show up to the meeting.
The log’s location was then sold to the highest bidder by a person wearing the Environment Banana costume at the Colour Me Educated dumpster event on January 26, 2010. It appears that the Faculty of Arts was the highest bidder and came into possession of the log shortly after. However, after the Arts Student Union president change, all credible leads as to the log’s location and captors seemed to disappear.
On September 21, 2011, a Facebook account by the name of “TheMath Log” appeared, with owners of the account claiming to be the current captors of the log. After actively friend-ing everyone related to the Math Faculty in January, an ultimatum was given on February 2nd. If students didn’t vote in André Magalhães for VPEDucation in the upcoming Federation of Students Election, the log would be burned. Otherwise, The Natural Log was to be returned safely. This ultimatum was rapidly removed from the account the following day. The election occurred and Adam Garcia got the position.
Now, well into March, no word has been given as to the log’s whereabouts, nor has a bag of ash been delivered to MathSoc. Indeed, the Facebook profile has apparently been deleted or banned as of today (March 11).
Who knows what will become of MathSoc’s long-time mascot, but we’ll provide updates if any happen. If you have an idea of where it is and want drop a tip to The Spirit of WTF, you can message us here.